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The Kim Kardashian buttpad issue has resulted in tons of e-mail. One in particular is from a reader who allegedly works in the modeling industry and says that padded underwear is not uncommon. So, pretty much, we′ve all been drooling over foam panties. I, honestly, don’t have a problem with that. Here’s what Izzy has to say:

She’s 5′3 with 39-40 inch hips, she’s NOT fat, has a small waist and Huge curves specifically on her breast and butt. All natural? I don’t think so. I do some modeling and I know side angles can do wonders for your butt but this girl has implants and I’ve seen many here in Miami. It’s almost as common as getting your boobs done, they also sell padded underwear with silicone inserts who want to go even larger.

She wears fake lashes and heavy makeup,so she strikes me as the type of person who′s very much into her physical appearance. So my honest opinion is that she’s had work done to her top and bottom but in all fairness a lot of people get plastic surgery,if it makes them happy, go for it.

Reading between the lines and pulling from my own ass(!), Kim Kardashian’s butt is more or less a philosophical issue. If you want it to be a sign of her girth, then peace be with you. If you want it to be the zenith of ass awesomeness, then peace be with you and, also, don’t touch anything on my desk. In fact, here’s some hand sanitizer. You go now.

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Kristen Bell loves her some hockey. And on top of that she loves her some hockey players. The hell she’s doing with Dax Sheppard is beyond me. She chatted with NHL.com yesterday and declared her preference for a high-sticker over low-sticker Brad Pitt*:

NHL.com: If you could meet any hockey player, who would you meet and why?
KB: Chris Osgood was my first crush. Brad Pitt be damned, he had nothing on Osgood’s rookie skill and sad eyes. There was actually a day in high school when I wrote on a name tag ‘Mrs. Osgood’ and wore it the whole day. I really thought we were perfect for each other. I’d love to meet him and probably apologize that things never worked out.

Then Kristen made the interview even spicier by talking about herself in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit. [insert sizzling sound here]:

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Ashlee Simpson is officially Ashlee Wentz. In a move destined to doom her even further into obscurity than her music career already has, Ashlee felt it wise to take on the name of her new husband - seen here with a plate over his face. He did get my letters! People reports:

Pete Wentz says he left the name change decision to his wife. “These decisions with Ashlee and her name are all completely up to Ashlee,” Wentz says. “I want her to do these kinds of things the way she wants to do them.”
Still, he admits, he was flattered. “Oh man, I was like upgrade me! You know what I’m saying? The Wentz family, our Christmas card just got upgraded!” he says. “It feels insane. It feels unreal.”

For those of you unable to zoom in, or with poor vision, Pete’s paper plate mask reads “Your ad could be here. E-mail Jon@Douchebag.com.” When I read something like that and hear Pete say “Upgrade me!,” I can′t help but feel overjoyed that these two reproduced. (Side note: I express joy through punching. Vigorous punching.) Now where’s the happy couple? I’ve got some brass joy I can’t wait to share with them. Ha ha! So happy!

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Kirsten Dunst opened up to E! Online’s Mark Malkin about her recent trip to Cirque Lodge. Turns out it wasn’t for the drinky; she was depressed. She also denied rumors that she’s dating Ryan Gosling. So, basically, after admitting she suffers from depression, E! made her confess to being lonely and emerging from her trailer at night to feed on the young. Okay, maybe not that last part. Here’s the details:

“I didn’t go to Cirque Lodge for alcohol abuse or drug abuse,” Dunst tells me exclusively during a lunch break on All Good Things. “I went there for depression.
“It was a good six months before I decided to go away,” Dunst says. “I was struggling, and I had the opportunity to go somewhere and take care of myself. I was fortunate to have the resources to do it. My friends and family thought it was a good idea, too. But I didn’t know where to go. My doctor recommended Cirque Lodge.”

How can you be sad while you’re drinking? That’s scientifically impossible. Back me up, Geekologie Writer. And, also, put on some pants. I don’t want people thinking we coordinated outfits again.

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